The Power of Breath & Silence, my 10 Day Meditation Experience {Day 9 & 10}

The last days of meditations

Day 9

I was dreaming of Bradley Cooper (haha), the first dream I had in days. I woke up feeling warm, cool and calm. My day had a subtle air, coupled with effortless meditation throughout. I was merely observing everything around me.

When you feel nothing but the burden of defeat at something the outcome will always be nothingness. But meditate or pray when you think there’s nothing to be Thankful, Grateful and Blessed for, and it will always turn to somethingness.  

Lesson from Discourse

When you see things from different angles or fresh eyes and begin seeing others’ behaviors to one another, you notice that the actions are based in a person’s suffering. With this understanding, you can’t be affected by their negativity but feel only love and compassion, as a mother feels for a sick child. All you want to do is to help this person come out of their misery. But in order to do that you must be at a state of peaceful and happy yourself. To practice the art of living is to remove mental impurities and to develop good qualities for yourself and for others.

Day 10

I woke up feeling eager, yet anxious; teary-eyed and scared. Today they lifted the noble silence; we were able to talk to each other by 4pm. It was loud. I was scared because I didn’t want to come back to the cruel world where all the pain and suffering happens. I wanted to stay in meditation longer and not deal with world. I was fine being there, eradicating all of my miseries. I didn’t want to be tainted again. I would have stayed another 10 days but I was bestowed great opportunities before the meditation and I wanted to take advantage of them.

Talking with my roommates, I learned that they all had pleasant experiences. I think I was the only one crying my eyes out the entire stay. There were a few teary-eyed but nothing like what I did. Most of their experiences were sunshine and candies. So I thought to myself that I am one messed up person. It was a good thing they didn’t let us communicate with each other because I absolutely would have compared myself to everyone. It was good they didn’t because we needed to have our own experiences and find our own truth which we hold within our self. I may have cried every day and I will continue to cry until there is nothing more to cry about and the only options I have is to stand strong.

Lesson from Discourse

One of the girls told me she was worried for me because she saw that I was sick. She didn’t think I would make the 10 days; I was coughing hard every day, drinking tea and blowing my nose. She told me she was sure she would be frustrated if she were in my place. I didn’t know whether to take it as a compliment or not. The girl then spoke favorably about the T-shirts I wore there, including “I’m kind of a big deal” from the movie “Anchor Man”; Mudd Run (this shirt was given to me; I haven’t done one, yet) Rocky Balboa and other shirts. She thought I was a bad ass by wearing those shirts and fighting through my cold while meditating. Perspective, right??!!!

The divine in me honors the divine in you. I recognize my true essence in every soul I meet. I am you, you are me and we are one. Namaste